Is This The Stupidest, Most Disgusting Gay Porn You’ve Ever Seen?

Living in a post-Viral Loads world, it’s hard to be grossed out by anything anymore. But, the sick fucks at Pride Studios have just come pretty close to making me want to throw my laptop (and myself) out the window and call it a day.

In case you hadn’t guessed, it’s a Halloween-themed gay porn (gay porn studios love making Halloween porn, even though most of it never works), and in case you couldn’t tell from the pic, it’s features Tony Orion and Isaac Hardy playing zombies. Zombies who butt fuck each other. (And no, not “zombies” as in “lifeless gay-for-payers with limp dicks,” but actual, undead monsters, like from The Walking Dead.)

I thought zombies ate brains, not ass?

Obviously, no one will be jerking off to this, but it does work as a gross-out comedy. Also, the make-up is good, and so is the acting—the grunting, writhing around, and eyes rolling back in the head is funny—but as a porn, it’s stupid. Or disgusting. Or both? I can’t decide. Can You?

Source Str8upgayporn

SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER...NOAH

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DAVID McINTOSH ... NAKED

David McIntosh is a British ex-military and security operative who became a television personality, actor, and fitness model. A former Royal Marines commando, he was a Gladiator on the Sky 1 TV series Gladiators, under the name Tornado. In 2014, he participated in Celebrity Big Brother 14. In 2014, McIntosh appeared in fitness magazine "Muscle & Fitness", the Jennifer Hudson music video "Walk It Out", and the Nicki Minaj music video "Anaconda".

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CANADIAN SATURDAY...MIKE AUCOIN

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Watch Dan Osborne Get Naked Five Seconds After Being Asked To Get Naked

Dan Osborne recently posed for another glorious shoot to appear in an upcoming issue of Attitude magazine, and instead of getting naked just because like he usually does, he gets naked after accepting a dare to get naked.

Dan was named “Fittest Man of the Year” at the annual Attitude Awards banquet Monday night, not to be confused with Tom Daley, who was simply named “Man of the Year.”

In the clip below, Dan is asked to perform a dare by choosing one from three red envelopes. Sure, all three probably contained the exact same dare (“jump in the pool naked”), but let’s at least give Attitude a hand for finding new and interesting ways to get Dan Osborne out of his clothes:

Source Queerty

Unwelcome Wood: UK Man Treated at Hospital for 17-Hour Erection

A North Yorkshire man found out that there can be too much of a good thing -- like a 17-hour hard-on.

Like many other healthy young men his age, Jason Garnett, a 23-year-old hotel employee from Harrogate, North Yorkshire, U.K., woke up last Friday with an erection. Only, in Garnett's case, it wouldn't go away, News.com.au reports.

Not wanting to miss work, he went to his job, but by midday, with his member still at full attention, Garnett took actions to relieve the situation. Thinking ice would take the swelling down, he tried an ice bath -- to no avail. His attempt to jog it off with his boner tucked in his belt, but the effort proved to be both fruitless and uncomfortable.

Finally, he asked his roommate to take him to the hospital.

"At first, he was in hysterics, but then realized how serious it was," he said. 

His roommate wasn't the only one in hysterics. According to the Daily Mail, when Garnett arrived at the hospital, he was greeted with the same reaction. This time, from the hospital staff.

"I was in so much pain when I arrived at the desk that I can't remember exactly what I said -- but I made the staff laugh," he recalled. 

He wouldn't be laughing for long. The hospital called a urology specialist, who instructed the staff to drain the blood from Garnett's penis.

Doctors drained more than two pints of blood from his Johnson and then proceeded to harpoon his "free willy" with a series of 24 injections of medication to try to restrict the blood flow.

"Seeing them stab my penis with a needle was a horrible experience, like something out of a horror film," Garnett told the Sun. "The pain was 10 out of 10."

Garnett was diagnosed with a very rare condition called priapism, in which there is a blockage of the vessels that empty the blood from the penis. The nerves essentially "forget" to narrow the arteries after the feelings of sexual arousal have passed, leading to priapism.

Source Edge

OUCHHH Man’s DIY Penis Enlargement Surgery Goes Horribly, Horribly Wrong

A Chinese man has learned the hard way why DIY penis enlargement surgery is not a good idea.

52-year-old Kang Niu was unhappy with his lovemaking abilities. His penis didn’t get as long, thick, or hard as he wanted. Rather than taking something like, say, Viagra, he came up with what we thought was a far better solution: Inserting a sharp steel rod down the center of his urethra to “reinforce” his manhood.

What could possibly go wrong, right?

How the man managed to insert the entire 13cm rod into his dong without passing out, we don’t know. (Nor do we want to.) But the results were truly horrifying.

Niu quickly found that when he tried having sex, the rod shot backwards into his body, stabbing him in the bladder.

Embarrassed by what he had done, Niu didn’t tell anyone for several months, hoping the rod would naturally pass from his body in his urine. When it didn’t, and when the pain because so severe he could hardly walk, he checked into a local hospital.

X-ray

The x-ray showing the 13cm steel rod trapped in Niu’s urinary tract.

Doctors took an X-ray and were shocked by what they discovered. The 13cm-long steel rod had become deeply lodged in Niu’s urinary tract. When they asked him about it, Niu said he came up with the “genius” idea all by himself.

A hospital spokesman told the media: “He believed that using this would give him a prolonged sexual experience.”

Of course, Niu isn’t the only man unhappy with the length and girth of his dong. A recent survey by the U.K.’s Observer found that 21 percent of men are discontent with their penis sizes. As a result, “Penoplasty” has become a growing trend in England.

Earlier this year, Billy-Tom O’Connor went on a morning news program to talk about his penis enlargement surgery. He  told an interviewer he wanted “an absolute monster,” so he paid to have his penis pumped up to the size of a 10-inch hairspray bottle. (See the NSFW pictures here.)

So what’s going to happen to Niu? The hospital would not say whether he will suffer permanent damage as a result of the DIY surgery. But here’s hoping he never tries it again. (Though, honestly, we wouldn’t put it past him.)

Source Queerty

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